Releasing Your Inner White Girl!
Excerpt from Whatz In Your Womb 2010 © Ma’at em Maakheru All rights reserved
I have to admit that when I was working my way up the ladder in corporate America, I was so tense about not displaying any of the stereotypes that Caucasians have about Black folks. I made sure that I spoke perfect English, never any of the ebonics that I’m using in this book. I went out of my way to display the “class and refinement” of White folks whenever I was in their presence and if there was a conversation about the inner city, I made sure they knew that there were many of us that are exceptions. Yes, I was a true Negro. However, in my mind, I thought I was showing them that they were wrong for thinking of all of us that way. We are just as “good” as them… But, my efforts seemed futile because no matter how “white” I acted in front of them, I still was the official negro representative for all things black. I had to give the official explanation for OJ, Kobe, Michael Jackson, and Mike Tyson. I had to answer all the weave and braid questions. I even had to answer for Zimbabwe kicking out the White folks. The topper was the conversation about the Black folks that helped enslave other Blacks in Africa. I had to answer how could they do that to each other? But they never had to answer why some Jews sold out other Jews for money. Why do England and Ireland fight? Why did the Greeks and Romans fight? But, no matter what, it never seemed to sink in that we don’t all think and act as one group. I even had one of my Caucasian friends tell me that the movie “Soul Food” was unrealistic because that’s not how most Black families are. I’m like, dude, how would you know? So, my mission to have White folks look at Black folks individually instead of as a group was in vain. Not to mention, my efforts to show them that we can be well behaved…look at me, I’m a good Negro. No one in my family is on drugs or has a case pending. But, for what? Why do I have so much to prove to them? They should be going out their way to prove to me that they aren’t like their ancestors or better yet fathers and grandfathers. Like Malcolm X said, “who are you that I would try to be equal with you?” What makes them what we aspire to be when our Ancestors built pyramids, civilizations, all religions, language, science, mathematics, philosophy, medicine, and the law? Why not aspire to be like our ancestors? Because we get caught up in that Funky Little Energy that created our Inner White Girl. That Inner White Girl is the one that still hates us for being Black. She still hates us because deep down she knows we are not “nappy headed hos,” her man just likes the brown sugar. She still hates us because our wombs hold the combinations to all human life on this planet. She still hates us because she owns us and our men. She hates our beautiful skin that defies age. She hates the strength and fullness of our hair. Not to mention, our curves, lips, and strong bodies. So she keeps us in check and flips the script on us making us wish we were like her instead. And why not, she is protected and put on a pedestal. Not even a lifetime ago, a Black man could be lynched for even looking at her. No lynch parties were dispersed when our mothers and grandmothers were raped. The brothas didn’t stand up and threaten Don Imus when he called us “Nappy Headed Ho’s.” But, after ten years O.J. is asked to leave a restaurant because the White woman he was accused of killing is still protected. It’s better to be shielded by our Inner White Girl, isn’t it?
I don’t know about yours by mine gives me too many mixed signals. When I let her run things, I still can’t get her people to understand me. She makes me uncomfortable with my weight, hair, and skin color. She makes me look at my own people with disdain and make fun of them. She makes me hate Africa and think of those “poor people” as doomed and worthless. She makes me sensitive about the way I talk. She always has to know what I’m doing and checks to see if it meets her approval. Well, you know what, I got tired of letting 1% of me run all of me. So I decided to put her in check instead.
How I Put My Inner White Girl In Check
I checked her by making her irrelevant. Sounds simple but it takes practice especially when she has so many folks on her side. I flipped the script on her. This is now what I call Ma’at’s Law of Irrelevance. This Law of Irrelevance is actually something I unknowingly developed as a child. I became an expert at not merely suppressing my emotions but allowing most things to fall off of me to the point that they were irrelevant. Due to the lack of nurturing from my mother(moms did the best she could), I had to find a way to nurture and support my own emotional health. I felt that I had to suppress my wants and desires in lieu of everyone else’s so I developed a knack for making most situations irrelevant. I found that when most people got all bent out of shape about most things, I remained calm and gave myself the opportunity to decide how to act. Sure there were things in my youth that automatically got me heated, but with most issues I was in full control of how to act. Unfortunately, this is also how I got most of my beat-downs from my older sisters because I learned how to consciously push their buttons to get them mad. And what happens when people get mad? They lose control and focus. Once this happens, it is easier to see the person for what they really are. This is what we must do to check our Inner White Girl. But before we get her mad at us, we need to release her by owning up to some things that I will cover in the next exercise. Then, we gon get her all pissed off in a few chapters when we go into Ma’at’s Law of Irrelevance in detail. But, yall get the point. I checked her and so now she is no longer on automatic ‘cause she mad at me now. But that’s cool because this gives me more time to spend researching my ancestors and the things that they did. I would rather know the secret to building pyramids than prove to Caucasians that my Inner White Girl is in control. I am more interested in rebuilding Africa and bringing her back to her previous splendor.
To find out more about how to get your Inner White Girl In Check, pick up the book or drop some knowledge on the blog. Workshop dates coming soon for NC, DC, and ATL. http://www.whatzinyourwomb.com/
Excerpt from Whatz In Your Womb 2010 © Ma’at em Maakheru All rights reserved
I don’t know about yours by mine gives me too many mixed signals. When I let her run things, I still can’t get her people to understand me. She makes me uncomfortable with my weight, hair, and skin color. She makes me look at my own people with disdain and make fun of them. She makes me hate Africa and think of those “poor people” as doomed and worthless. She makes me sensitive about the way I talk. She always has to know what I’m doing and checks to see if it meets her approval. Well, you know what, I got tired of letting 1% of me run all of me. So I decided to put her in check instead.
How I Put My Inner White Girl In Check
I checked her by making her irrelevant. Sounds simple but it takes practice especially when she has so many folks on her side. I flipped the script on her. This is now what I call Ma’at’s Law of Irrelevance. This Law of Irrelevance is actually something I unknowingly developed as a child. I became an expert at not merely suppressing my emotions but allowing most things to fall off of me to the point that they were irrelevant. Due to the lack of nurturing from my mother(moms did the best she could), I had to find a way to nurture and support my own emotional health. I felt that I had to suppress my wants and desires in lieu of everyone else’s so I developed a knack for making most situations irrelevant. I found that when most people got all bent out of shape about most things, I remained calm and gave myself the opportunity to decide how to act. Sure there were things in my youth that automatically got me heated, but with most issues I was in full control of how to act. Unfortunately, this is also how I got most of my beat-downs from my older sisters because I learned how to consciously push their buttons to get them mad. And what happens when people get mad? They lose control and focus. Once this happens, it is easier to see the person for what they really are. This is what we must do to check our Inner White Girl. But before we get her mad at us, we need to release her by owning up to some things that I will cover in the next exercise. Then, we gon get her all pissed off in a few chapters when we go into Ma’at’s Law of Irrelevance in detail. But, yall get the point. I checked her and so now she is no longer on automatic ‘cause she mad at me now. But that’s cool because this gives me more time to spend researching my ancestors and the things that they did. I would rather know the secret to building pyramids than prove to Caucasians that my Inner White Girl is in control. I am more interested in rebuilding Africa and bringing her back to her previous splendor.
To find out more about how to get your Inner White Girl In Check, pick up the book or drop some knowledge on the blog. Workshop dates coming soon for NC, DC, and ATL. http://www.whatzinyourwomb.com/
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